He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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