it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
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