I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
