i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Randomize
