For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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