wanna go halves on a baby?
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
accomplished twins. life is a go
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
