Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
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