Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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