umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
