You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Randomize
