we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
