I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
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