i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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