Ambien. No doubt about it.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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