the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
