i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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