is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
