The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
