If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
