Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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