Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Randomize
