we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
