I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
My vagina just clenched in fear
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
