I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Just invented taco cereal.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
