i'm signing you up for texting rehab
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
