everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
