Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
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