Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
