Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
