i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
