i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
