Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
