Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
