i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I understand Curling. That high.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
