There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
