Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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