I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
