I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
