he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
