I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I need to stop coming to work sober
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
