My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
