can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
how drunk are you?
Several
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Randomize
