bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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