We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i may or may not be watching the land before time
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
