so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
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