I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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