please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
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