oh fat girl friday strikes again...
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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