I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
