I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
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