that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
