Just mADE A PArabola og urine
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
