He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
