it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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