Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize