dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
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