She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
