you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
