So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
